July 4th is a time to celebrate all that is great about the United States of America. So turn on espn, watch the hotdog eating contest at Coney Island, pick up a flag, and listen to “Stars and Stripes.” Maybe later your town even has fireworks. Regardless, What Planet Is This would like to pay tribute to America with this post, so keep reading!
The United States is one of the only places where you can watch a hot dog eating contest on Coney Island, where 59 hot dogs are consumed in 10 minutes. Luckily, Joey Chestnut was able to beat Takeru Kobayashi again this year, but in a special 5 dog eat off. Both tied with 59 hot dogs, but Chestnut was able to win. That is some American Greatness.
Fire up your grills at home. Your local grocery store carries tons and tons of meats, and with the overabundance of food here in the US, you can grill a lot to celebrate the triumphs of our forefathers.
Also, your local fireworks are a great attraction. However, there are always certain rules, or things that happen at the fireworks. These include:
No matter how close you sit to someone else’s blanket, an excellent walkway is right in front of you.
During the fireworks, you will always have that one kid who hates the sound of fireworks, sitting right next you. Always.
You will most likely have a guy (opposite the kid who is crying because he hates the fireworks) that o0o0os and aaahs at the most inappropriate times. They might even count the fireworks, because they know how to count to three.
Side note: This happened to us today. We had this kid that would ooooooooo when the fireworks were launched, like that was the whole part of the firework. Obviously the best part is the explosion of color. And I knew how many fireworks were happening, because he would count them aloud everytime one was launched.
But in America, you can do whatever the hell you want, because it is the birthday of the United States. Don’t touch the tip of the sparkler, and have a good rest of your night!