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The Urinal Rule (and other man bathroom rules)

January 25, 2008 by Jay

There are certain rules required to be known by all men. Most are universal, but for some reason, some guys just don’t know these rules. This is why I plan on writing a whole series on the man rules, just to make sure everyone is on the same page. The first rule up: The Urinal Rule, and other bathroom rules.

The Urinal Rule explicitly states that no man shall use a urinal directly next to a urinal being used. In common terms, if a man is using a urinal, you are never to use the one that is next to that man. There are exceptions to these rules, but they happen under very rare circumstances. One is sporting events. The other is a bladder emergency, but even then I’d rather go find another bathroom than break the rule.

There should especially be no talking while in the bathroom. It is a place to relieve yourself, not carry on a conversation. There’s a million better-suited places for a conversation. The exception here is a father and child, because they might not be comfortable in public.

The Urinal should be chosen with caution. It’s a wonder they even make even numbered urinals, because it is just a waste. The Urinal furthest right shall always be chosen (most bathrooms, this is the way). There are bathrooms, however, that you have to go furthest left. The rule of thumb if you aren’t sure is to pick the urinal closest to the wall, furthest away from anything else.

Other bathroom rules include the stall rule, which is similar to the urinal rule. Leave a buffer zone of at least one stall.

The common living rules exist as this. If you are living in a place with a shared bathroom (mostly dorms), do not make eye contact in the bathroom. Again, no conversations. If you are shaving, please don’t make a mess all over the sink, and please don’t shave areas other than your face in the bathroom. (and yes I am serious, you will never believe what you see in the dorm bathroom)

Don’t shower next to another dude if there are other showers available, that should be a last resort.

And don’t steal anyone else’s items from the bathroom. I’ve seen a towel or bottle of shampoo left in the bathroom before. Even an electric toothbrush. But I never touch them. They should only be touched by their owners. Then the day after I see missing signs and “please return to so and so.” Just let stuff be.

Filed Under: Rules of Life Tagged With: Bathroom rule, bufferzone, Man rule, Urinal, urinal buffer, urinal rule

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